In Motion
by echozgreen
Summary: After Pacific Playland, the gang decides to head back east. On the way, they encounter zombies and all sorts of trouble. Columbus and Tallahassee get the worst of it.
1. Chapter 1

In Motion || Chapter One

* * *

One Hour Earlier.

_It was a grey and dreary day._

_"Hey, I thought you filled the tank!" Wichita said to Columbus while checking the fuel tank, "It's almost empty!"_

_Columbus looked around and realized that she was talking to him, "Uh, I, um.. I thought Tallahassee was going to fill up the gas."_

_"No... I specifically remember it being your turn to fill up the gas." Wichita said, turning her attention to Columbus with her arms crossed._

_"But Tallahassee was driving. And I think... I think i must've fell asleep or something." Colubus looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry."_

_Wichita sighed. Great, now we have no gas thanks to him, even though Columbus didn't mean too. Still, this is a problem._

_"Fine," Columbus snapped his head back when hearing Wichita speak, "I'm pretty sure I saw a gas station about a few miles away from here. I'll go with Little Rock and fill up. I think the gas we have will last us, but until then just wait here with Tallahassee. He's been more irritating that usual. You got that?"_

_"Yeah. Be careful, Wichita."__

* * *

_

"Ay! I said be careful with that! And watch your aiming!" Tallahassee's yell turned into a mutter, "Almost shot me, little motherfu-"

"Then why are you standing in front of where I am shooting?" Columbus retorted back.

They were currently fending themselves from a hoard of zombies that had been stowing away in the second floor of the motel. Wichita and Little Rock had still not come back.

"Well unlike you, spitfuck, I actually have to balls to face these damn things instead of hiding behind a damn sofa." Tallahassee said while shooting a zombie with a head-shot.

"Hmph," Columbus pouted from his hiding spot. It's not Columbus's fault he was actually precautious. One bite from these motherfuckers and your gone.

Besides, ever since they arrived at Motel Marz yesterday Columbus hasn't been feeling like his normal self. He's been drowsier than normal. Last night he had the watch shift, so Columbus had been up all night, and now he was fighting damn zombies after not getting even an hour of sleep.

"How many more do you think there are?" Columbus shouted to Tallahassee who was enjoying his time destroying the zombies.

"I'd say we got most of 'em, only a few left, lets have some fun with these bitches!" Tallahassee dropped his gun and grabbed a shovel he had been keeping lying on the floor.

"Are you sure about this, maybe we should just get this over with-" Columbus watched from behind the sofa as Tallahassee beat the crap out of the zombies with a big smile on his face not even hearing Columbus.

Columbus sighed and slumped behind the couch, running his free hand through his hair. _Why am I so tired, _he thought to himself. _Maybe if I just closed my eyes for a minute; Tallahassee can handle those zombies by himself._

Columbus leaned his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. After not more than a minute, he slightly opened his eyes to make sure he wouldn't fall asleep, and heard a growling noise to the right of him.

Right next to Columbus was a fatass zombie just standing there with drool coming from its mouth. He thought maybe if he stayed still maybe he would be fine. There was an awkward silence for a moment while Columbus tightened his grip on his rifle, when the zombie let out a horrible sounding growl and moved in towards Columbus.

Columbus jerked up holding his gun with his finger on the trigger. He aimed and... click.

"Shit," Columbus silently exclaimed; he was out of bullets.

By this time the zombie had come within a few feet of Columbus, who held out his gun sideways to try to block the zombie. The zombie was struggling to get to Columbus who was now trying to swing his gun at the zombie like a bat, but it didn't hold it off for long.

"Hahaha, take that bitches!" Tallahassee gloated from across the room impaling the shovel the the zombies head.

Columbus thought this would be the perfect opportunity to ask Tallahassee for some help to protect him from the man-eating undead monster that was trying to kill him.

"Tallahassee! Um, a little help over here!" Tallahassee looked over from his spot standing on top the dead zombie and saw the stupid spitfuck cowering in a corner swinging his gun aimlessly at a zombie.

"Aw shiiit. C'mon kid, what the hells the matter wit you!" Tallahassee ran, grabbed his gun, locked and loaded it, and continued moving towards the zombie and Columbus.

"Just shoot it for God's sake!" Columbus screamed as the zombie came closer to him. Columbus shoved his gun in the zombie's mouth but that didn't slow him down much.

"Will 'ya stop yer movin'!" Tallahassee said trying to get a clear shot.

"Holy shit, Tallahassee! Fucking shoot it!" Columbus was starting to panic as the zombie's mouth came inches from his own flesh.

_BANG!_

The zombie fell onto the floor, almost bringing Columbus with him. Columbus broke free and quickly stumbled around and away from the zombies body and ran behind Tallahassee for safety.

"Pesty little fuck," Tallahassee said observing the zombie twitch a little while still on the floor, so Tallahassee delivered the final blow from his rifle. _double tap._

Columbus fell to the floor and took a huge breath of relief.

"What in the hell were you doin'?" Tallahassee turned around to yelled to Columbus.

Columbus was still trying to catch his breath, "Look," he took in a breath of air, "I ran out of ammo." Columbus showed him his gun was empty.

"You could'a been killed 'cause you can't fight off one pansy ass zombie!" Tallahassee was walking towards Columbus now but only to make sure he was alright, "Now, I know your a flimsy little spitfuck, but you usually do better than that."

"Thanks for your concern," Columbus said sarcastically, "We should've just killed the damn zombies right away, but you had to go and make this some sort of fucking recreational thing," Columbus said that a little more harshly than usual.

Tallahassee took no offense from Columbus, but he did notice that Columbus was a little edgy, "Hmph, well isn't it someones time of the month."

Columbus looked at Tallahassee incredulously.

"Y-you think this like some- some kind of game!" Columbus stood up agrily, "Well guess what? It's not a game, it's life or death. It's about survival. You might want to gamble your life, but don't gamble mine!"

Tallahassee just stared at Columbus amusingly. He's grown a pair since they've first met, he'll give him that.

"Alright, kid, calm down," Tallahassee put his hand on Columbus's shoulder, "lets get outta this shit hole and wait outside for the girls to get back."

Columbus just nodded, recovering from his outburst. Even he himself didn't expect that.

As they were walking, Tallahassee noticed that Columbus was a little more pale than usual and had dark bags under his eyes. Also, Columbus was dragging his feet and his hands were shaking.

It wasn't that odd for feeble Columbus, but it wasn't his usual behavior either.

Tallahassee didn't think too much of it because a few minutes after waiting outside, the girls had arrived with the truck and a full tank of gas.

* * *

I love Zombieland, and I really hope Zombieland 2 is good when it comes out... Anyways, how do you like my first Zombieland fic. Reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

In Motion || Chapter Two

* * *

"Where the hell are we going!"

"Keep it down; all of Zombieland can hear you," Wichita whispered urgently.

Wichita turned her head back to face the road and continued focus on driving.

"I will keep it down when you answer my question," Tallahassee said.

"I already told you," Little Rock chimed in from the passenger seat with excitement, "we're going to The Big Apple!"

"_We're goin' to The Big Apple~ so we can get killed by eleven million New Yorker zombies," _Tallahassee mocked Little Rock's enthusiasm.

"Hey, Tallahassee, cut it out back there!" Wichita warned, "You've already been to New York City before. Everyone should visit New York at least once."

"There's notin' to see there. Buildings, a statue, a park. Big whoop!" Tallahassee pouted and shrunk down in his seat with an exasperated grunt.

"Not just any building, statue, or park; the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, and Central Park," Wichita said dreamily thinking about her first visit there, "New York is amazing; there's nothing like it anywhere else in the world."

"Well, duhhh," Tallahassee exclaimed as if she said something redundant.

"What do you mean 'duhhh'?" Wichita questioned, "It's true; there's no place like it."

"No two places in the world are the same," Tallahassee said with a shrug.

"Yeah... but New York, it's different. It stands out from all the rest," Wichita refuted.

"If you say so..." Tallahassee made a noise to mock Wichita, hoping to evoke an annoyed response from her.

"Ugh," Wichita was getting irritated by Tallahassee's pointless argument, "I'm done with you. Enough talking."

There was a long silence after that. Tallahassee gave in with a sigh and looked out the window to the right of him. It was dark outside; almost eight o'clock. What an ugly place the Midwest was. A dessert. A dried up dessert. With not one sign of life.

Tallahassee couldn't wait until he was out of this hole. He turned his head and saw Columbus out of the corner of his eye.

Columbus was propped up against the window. His eyes, which had dark bags underneath them, were shut. He was out like a light.

It was hard to believe actually. Columbus had been sleeping all day yesterday, and he's been on-and-off all day today.

Tallahassee observed him for a moment. Columbus looked comfortable, yet that position will most definitely give him sores when he wakes up. His skin was still pale, as he noted earlier in the day, and he was sporting a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing to worry about; that's what Tallahassee told himself.

Tallahassee kept telling himself not to worry for all but five minutes in the silent car before he shifted uncomfortably; trying not to make to much noise in the silence of the car.

He slid closer to Columbus and reached out a hand to Columbus's forehead.

"Damn," Tallahassee cursed silently to himself. Just what he had suspected; a fever.

Apparently, Wichita had heard Tallahassee's remark, "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Kid's got a fever," Tallahassee stated indifferently.

"Oh my God," Wichita said with surprise mostly because Tallahassee sounded as if he could care less rather than the real matter at hand, "How high is his temperature?"

"What do I look like- a thermometer?" Tallahassee exclaimed.

"Fine, guesstimate then! How bad do you think it is?" Wichita was getting fed up with Tallahassee.

"I don't know, maybe like a hundred and somethin'," Tallahassee wasn't the person to ask for a diagnosis.

"Big help you are," Wichita muttered.

"Hey, it's not my fault. If you think you're so smart, why don't you try producing a more accurate 'guesstimate'!" Tallahassee started to raise his voice louder.

"I just want to know how bad it is! And I don't want whatever he's got to spread!" Wichita exclaimed.

Little Rock was sitting in the passenger seat passively with her head in her hand listening to them fight like a mom and a dad would. What a dysfunctional family this was.

The car started to swerve a little from Wichita constantly turning around to face Tallahassee to yell at him. Thank God there was no one on the roads.

"Well don't worry. I'm pretty sure you have to have a soul in order to get sick!" Tallahassee yelled.

"What is that supposed to mean!" Wichita knew exactly what it meant.

"It means you have no soul! Witch!" Tallahassee was almost sputtering nonsense now.

"Wow. Really? You're saying I have no soul. You're new nickname for me is 'Witch' and your nickname for Columbus is 'spitfuck'," Wichita shook her head, "You know what the funny thing about that is? You're giving us nicknames for our nicknames."

"You're just a bossy no-good witch bitch!" Tallahassee screamed in his seat.

"What are you even saying!" Wichita cried.

They continued to yell until they were almost at each others throats shouting over each other without an apparent reason for their arguement.

Tallahassee was screaming a bunch of curses, while simultaneously, Wichita said how she doesn't even want to hear Tallahassee's voice right now.

Then-

"Pullover."

Tallahassee and Wichita immediately silenced themselves after hearing the familiar voice.

"Wha-" Wichita began to ask but was interrupted midway.

"Pullover," Columbus said again with the same groggy and weak voice as before; but Wichita seemed to be shocked for some reason; so he emphasized his urgency, "Pullover, now!"

At this, Wichita slammed the breaks with a screech.

Columbus was already opening the door while the car was still in motion. He waited until the car was slowed down to about a safe five miles per hour before jumping out and rushing away from the car.

Wichita put the car in park, "Go and check on him!" Wichita commanded Tallahassee, but he didn't need to be told twice. As soon as Tallahassee saw Columbus leave the car, he was almost right on his tail.

"Hey, kid!" Tallahassee decided to stay back a little distance and let the kid walk off a little further, "You okay?"

Tallahassee's question was answered by Columbus bending over in a ditch area, and the sound of Columbus emptying what was left of his stomach.

It took a few minutes by the time Columbus's convulsing started to fade, but he continued to stay bent down in preparation of another possible wave of nausea.

"Hey," Tallahassee said as he started to ease closer to Columbus, "We should get movin'. It's dark, and I think there are snakes or some shit in this desert."

Columbus said nothing, he just continued to hold his hands to his knees while keeping his head down.

Tallahassee took this as a sign that Columbus still felt sick, so he put a hand on Columbus's back to try to comfort him.

"Hey, Tallahassee," Columbus finally spoke, "I think I'm sick."

Tallahassee chuckled to himself from the naivety of his younger counterpart, "No shit."

* * *

Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter in. I've been really busy with school and stuff. I guess I have anemia now, too. It's been really hectic. But don't worry, I promise I will eventually finish it. I never leave a story unfinished. I hate it when you read a story and it's never finished. One of my pet-peeves. Enjoy.


	3. Author's Note

Author's Note

* * *

I'm really sorry it's been a long time since I have updated, I've had a lot of stuff going on. And I'm also really sorry if anyone saw this update and expected a new chapter _*trolls*_. Don't worry, I will be updating this story, I'm not going to give up on it.

Expect a new chapter within the next month. Hopefully before the end of November, or even earlier. I really do want to finish this, and in inspiration I will be watching Zombieland again for like the seventh time.

Thank you for your patience :)

* * *

Also, anyone excited for Zombieland 2 coming out in 2013? I know I am!


	4. Chapter 3

In Motion || Chapter 3

* * *

Tallahassee and Columbus walked back to the car and continued on their journey. The group ended up finding a run-down abandoned motel. Wichita and Little Rock took one room, while Columbus and Tallahassee occupied the room right next to theirs. The motel didn't have more than two beds per room, but Tallahassee had a feeling that Wichita still would have made Little Rock and she stay in a separate room in fear of Little Rock catching Columbus's sickness. Older-sister protectiveness and what not.

"Honestly kid, I don't know how the fuck you can get sick in Zombieland. I mean, how the fuck is it that monsters are runnin' around the streets infecting everyone and you got the goddamn flu?" ranted Tallahassee as he threw his guns and bags onto the sleazy looking motel twin bed.

"Mmmmhh" Colombus croaked out from the twin bed right next to Tallahassee's.

Tallahassee couldn't help but worry about the kid. He looked like shit. He couldn't keep his eyes open for more than a few moments without them drooping closed again. And now he was curled up on his side ready to pass out, and he hasn't even taken off his shoes yet.

"Hey, kid."

"Hm?"

"C'mon get changed into more comfortable clothing and take off your damn shoes."

This was kind of Tallahassee's way of showing he cared.

Columbus stumbled off the bed pulled off his shoes took off his jacket and pants and ended up in a t-shirt and boxers. He himself was surprised he was able to be able to move himself enough to get into decent sleeping attire.

Columbus flopped back onto his bed and muttered, "G'night Tal."

Tallahassee silently watched him as he passed out within a few minutes. Once he was sure Columbus was knocked-out he walked up to the side of him and placed his hand against his forhead and then his cheek.

"Damn..." he said to no one in particular.

Columbus was burning up.

Sadly, Tallahassee realized he couldn't do much for Columbus right now. All he could do was wait and see how Columbus progressed. But tomorrow, Tallahassee was going to try to see if he could find some tylenol at a pharmacy or something to try and sweat out his fever.

Then Tallahassee basically shoved all of his shit that was on his bead onto the floor, and he flopped onto the bed. He situated himself and sighed while looking over at Columbus one last time before he turned off the light.

"Stupid kid..."

* * *

"Turn here! No ya' idiot! Make a left here!" Tallahassee exclaimed from the backseat. Columbus was sitting next to him. He was a little better considering he could keep his eyes open to watch Wichita as Tallahassee yells directions at her.

"Well maybe you should told me sooner!" Wichita exclaimed as she jerked the wheel a hard left. Tallahassee went flying onto Columbus and Little Rock was in the passenger seat holding on for dear life.

"Ge-Get off of me!" Columbus said while attempting to push Tallahassee off of him.

"Not my fault your girly-friend here doesn't know how to follow directions."

"Hey, enough-" Wichita started.

"Where are we going anyway?" Little Rock asked to interupt and hopefully prevent futher fighting.

"To the pharmacy to get little spitfuck over here some medicine."

Columbus chimed in, "I told you I don't need any medicine."

"Kid you're sick and we need you getting better a soon as possible before you get the rest of us sick. We live in Zombieland, no time to be gettin' sick... There it is! Turn! Turn!"

After a screeching turn and a quick stop Wichita put the car in park.

"Alright me and Little Rock will wait in the car. Please. Don't take too long."

"Yeah, Yeah." And with that, Tallahassee slammed the door shut.

* * *

"Did you find any yet?" Tallahassee yelled to Columbus who was scanning the shelves.

"Not one bottle. It looks like someone raided the place and took everything the could find. I don't see any antboitics, tylenol, advil, nothing."

"For fuck's sake. Its it too much to ask for one damn bottle of fever reducer!"

"Will you stop yelling?" Columbus said while he was gripping one of the shelves tightly for support. The bags under his eyes returned even worse than they were before and he was now a deathly pale, "you're giving me a headache for christ's sake."

Tallahassee noticed his friend's condition, but shook it off, "If there were some damn medicine then you wouldn't be have'n no headache."

Columbus kept his eyes closed and felt it was too much engergy to respond. Tallahassee continued scanning the shelves down the aisle looking in the back or anywhere possible, when he came to the end he thought he spotted something in the back so he reached his arm in.

"C'mon please be somethin' useful, please." Tallahassee pleaded, "Almost... almost..."

"Grhmmm."

"Oh stop moanin' kid," Tallahassee exclaimed.

"That wasn't me." Columbus mumbled from halfway down the aisle.

"Wha-" Tallahassee turned his head to a zombie. It lunged in and Tallahassee quickly removed his arm and started to run back up the aisle unarmed.

"Columbus, run! Jesus fucking christ these things are always poppin' up fuckin' everywhere!"

Columbus finally took the time to lift up his head and see what the hell Tallahassee was screaming about, "Aw, c'mon!"

"Just shut up and run!"

"Where did you put your gun?" Columbus was now in a full on sprint. Cardio.

"I put it down when I was lookin' for that goddamn medicine."

"Well use something else then!"

"Quit your bitchin'!"

With that, Tallahassee picked up a metal cane he found, "This'll do." They were after all in a pharmacy and there wasn't much they could choose from.

When the zombie reached them Tallahassee hit the zombie on the head as hard as he could, and once it fell over he bashed it's head over and over again until it stopped twitching. Then he went back to the aisle were he left his gun and came back and shot it in the head once more just to be safe.

"You alright kid?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." It had been five minutes since they had stopped running and Columbus was still breathing heavily.

"Kid, I'm not gonna lie, ya' look like shit and ya' need to sit your ass down somewhere."

"Wait. Just... hold on." Columbus was gripping holding onto another shelf with his eyes closed tightly while he tried to compose himself.

"C'mon, look I found some Tylenol we can leave now," Tallahassee pulled out the bottle to show him, and he got closer to Columbus, "I don't wanna have to carry you anywhere spitfuck."

"Alright... I think I'm good." Tallahassee took the lead as they left the store when he heard a thump behind him. He quickly turned around to Columbus passed out with his face flat on the floor.

"Shit, shit, shit," Tallahassee ran up to Columbus and flipped him over on his back. He felt his breathing and saw his chest moving so he was alive, but when he felt his forehead it was the hottest he's ever felt.

"Hang on a minute kid," he ran to an aisle and came back in less the ten seconds, "Alright. How the hell am I gonna do this."

He pulled Columbus's arms from behind him and drapped them over his shoulder while manuevering his way to grabbing his legs. Columbus ended up with his head resting over Tallahassee's shoulder and also in piggy-back style around Tallahassee who looked as though he wanted to shoot the world.

"Dammnit kid! I told you I don't wanna be carrying you no where!"

Wait until Wichita and Little Rock see this.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait. There should be more to come. I really am for anyone who has been waiting for updates. I really love fan fiction, but I do think I am not the best writer for it. More of a reader actually. But sometimes I just have these ideas in my head that I wish were stories and feel the need to do them. Then I get lazy. Oh well, enjoy!


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